I’m sorry, you must be at least a level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory

Level 1: what these? *raises arm* I got my appendix removed by a really bad surgeon
Level 2: what do you think they are? OuO
Level 3: uhh yeah stuff kinda happened I’m not an emotional wreck *laughs*
Level 4: *three hour feeling jam where I cry about life and gender and junk*
Level 5: “hey man buy me a dick pls”